As Cher of Clueless would say, “As if.”

America’s first legit male ho is on the schedule and taking appointments at The Shady Lady Ranch outside Las Vegas but sorry guys, this 25 year-old has a ‘women only’ policy and by the look of ‘Markus’ that’s just fine with us.

Don’t get us wrong, he’s got a pretty good body and he is can put sentences together better than our 12-year-old nephew but would you pay $200 for 40 minutes with this Alabama native?

Yup, 200 for less than an hour. That’s cheaper than most of the guys on Rentboy.com (or at least that’s what our friends tell us) but then again, most women probably wouldn’t bother with guys who would flip around for another fifty. So maybe ‘Markus’ is on to something.

He definitely knows how to work an interview. Not only did he relate his experience to that of civil rights legend Rosa Parks, but he also layed it on thick for us mo’s, “I think gay people are very put-together. I think they’re very classy, very well-organized people. They have great personalities. I have nothing against them, but that’s not me.”

Oh, and don’t call him a hooker or prostitute. This former Marine and political science dropout likes the label ‘surrogate lover,’ “You encompass everything that’s required of you—not only emotionally, physically—but psychologically. Because women are wired differently. They’re much more sensitive creatures.”

Well, good luck to you ‘Markus’. I hope you find plenty of ‘surrogate lovers’ with lots of money to blow on you and your philosophies. I’m putting my $200 into a new pair of jeans – they don’t have a policy against hugging my butt.

Read more on America’s first legal male prostitute at Details.com